Two under Two-The First Month
My first thought on the past month is: Holy Cow, what have I done? Juan and I haven’t slept well since Jonas’ birth, and I’m beginning to think we never will. The house is continuously taken apart by a seventeen month old cyclone and the one month old loves to nurse. Loves it. He’ll finish one meal in time to start another. I eat and shower when I can-mostly when Juan is home-and pretty much spend the days keeping one or both kids from crying. That whole thing about “two in diapers; yuck” is the least of my challenges. The diapers are easy compared to the rest of the chaos.
Really, the biggest issue I wasn’t prepared for was how fussy Jonas was going to be. I know all kids are different, but my thought process was that since Izzy was a preemie, Jonas-being full term-was bound to be easier. WRONG. He is more clingy, more easily upset, and cries WAY more than Izzy ever did. Because of this I now have a theory that boy babies are wussier than girls. However, things are looking up. Everyone you talk to says, “It only lasts a few months.” Whatever IT is. I swear, if I hear that well meaning yet completely useless phrase one more time; I’m going to shoot the messenger! Provided I find a gun. Or any projectile-I can improvise.
Ok. Enough ranting. I love being at home and able to complain about this. I love my kids. I am grateful because life could be so much worse. That said, I’ve also learned a few tricks which have helped out a ton.
First trick is a shout out to all Mothers that have been there! I have to admit that when things got pretty much unbearable, I called my Mom. She had two boys fourteen months apart and knew exactly what I was dealing with. She also has four kids total so one of them was bound to be as high maintenance as Jonas. I was right! (Zach, apparently you were the fuss bucket out of all of us-sorry bro) She went right into advising the Lost-Daughter-But-Trying-Not-To-Show-It. Her advice was good, but it was just as helpful hearing about someone that has been as frustrated, tired and confused. I advise all Lost-Mommies-But-Trying-Not-To-Show-Its to find a friend or family member that has been there and call them. It really helps.
Second thing I learned is how much I can do by myself. Not really a brag, but the first time I carried an eight pound bobble head and a twenty something pound monkey-determined to kiss and/or decapitate bobble head-down the stairs at the same time was pretty triumphant. To have to feed, clothe, teach, protect and nurture two small creatures at the same time is challenging. Its hard and exhausting, but we survive the days. The confidence that comes out of dealing with so many daily challenges is like a small breath of fresh air on a humid day. “Whew, I did it.” And when Juan is working it’s, “whew, I did it by myself.” I am Mommy, hear me roar!
But by far the best thing I have discovered that helps is actually an item. Yes, tip number three is GET A WRAP. A six yard long piece of cloth has totally revolutionized our lives! I love it! I had originally made a baby sling for Jonas, but like Izzy he did not like being in it. They both like to stretch out and have free arms and legs. That whole womblike experience was lost on them. However, Jonas still wanted to be held constantly. Constantly-as in I put him down to take a much needed bathroom break and he would cry. Not liking the sling, I put him in one of those store bought baby carriers. Even though it was rated for newborns, his head would always flop around too much and I had to keep one hand on him. And It wasn’t comfortable. I went online and started researching baby carriers and found a baby wearing website. It had wraps on it. I love how comfy they looked and how versatile they were. They also cost $40-$160 bucks each. Not so good for a one income family. I then found a site that showed how to make one, and the rest is history. He gets tied to my back when I need to cook or clean, and I front wrap him when we go shopping or just to carry him. Even Juan can wear it and also loves it. This is a MUST HAVE for Moms, but especially those with other kids.
I guess in retrospect, the first couple weeks were pretty bad, but with the aid of my Mom,a renewed self-confidence, and a wrap; the last couple of weeks haven’t been too bad. I still long for the days when Jonas will nap in a crib or at least space out his feedings a little better, but I take what I can get. Right now all I can get is two little munchkins that aren’t crying. And maybe a decent meal or a shower. . .